Christmas Cheer
by Leader of the Penguins
Summary: First Officer Murdoch and Second Officer Lightoller thought of themselves as the best pranksters on the ship. But they didn't reckon with Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater. Bad mistake, guys.


**DISCLAIMER : **The following characters belong to history and James Cameron. I mean no offense in the following story, and no disrespect whatsoever. It is all meant to be innocent fun, nothing malicious or anything like that. What with it being set in Christmas Day, thus being several months after the film events, Rose's condition is very possible, so please remember that. This was originally in _A Series of Short Stories_, but I felt like reposting them individually. Also, there are a few minor changes. And it is set in 2005, hence the Marconi Romm being renamed to Communications Room.

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**- Christmas Cheer -**

It was Christmas Day, 2005. The Titanic had gotten lost in the Arctic, and was stuck in some ice. However, this didn't stop the Christmas cheer that was around the ship. Strangely enough, one of the large crates in the cargo hold was filled with Christmas decorations, so the officers and the stewards put them up around the ship. It was party time on the Titanic.

In the officers' mess hall, First Officer William Murdoch and Second Officer Charles Lightoller were scheming quietly in a corner. Their plan - to play a Christmas prank on Fifth Officer Harold Lowe and Sixth Officer James Moody. It was going to be a good one, no doubt about it.

Meanwhile, Jack Dawson, a young man from steerage, and Rose DeWitt Bukater, a seventeen-year-old first class woman, were on the run from Rose's former fiancé, Caledon Hockley, and his manservant, Spicer Lovejoy. Rose found it slightly difficult to go very quickly, being five months pregnant with Jack's child, but they made it to the officers' quarters. With Cal and Lovejoy coming at them from either side, they ran inside, thankful that no-one else saw them.

Not too far from them, in the Communications Room, Operators Phillips and Bride were sending festive greetings to relatives of the ship's passengers and crew via email. However, one person seemed to be very Scrooge-like ...

"Right, mistletoe," said Lightoller, brandishing some very fine mistletoe from his coat pocket. He set it on the table, a grin on his face. There were no other officers in the Officer's Mess Hall, so their plan would go unheard.

"Oh my God," Murdoch couldn't hide his amusement. He couldn't believe that Lightoller had decided to use mistletoe. At worst, he had thought Lightoller was going to throw puddings at them or tangle them in tinsel. But mistletoe?

Lightoller saw the look on his friend's face and said, "Yes, Will, mistletoe."

"You _are_ kidding, right?"

"Nope," replied Lightoller, his mischievous grin widening. "We are going to make Harold and James kiss _each other_!"

At this, both officers burst into fits of laughter, not noticing that Jack and Rose had run into the hall and hidden themselves under a table. They had hoped no one had seen them.

"Look at those two. I wonder what they're up to?" Jack asked quietly.

"Want to listen?" whispered Rose.

Jack nodded, and together they watched Murdoch and Lightoller calm down and continue planning.

"So, how do we do it?" asked Murdoch, eyeing the mistletoe.

"Well, what we'll do is..."

Jack and Rose listened intently as Lightoller told Murdoch about their plan. The idea was to get Lowe and Moody talking to each other while Murdoch held a camera and Lightoller held the mistletoe above the two unsuspecting officers, since Lightoller was taller than Murdoch. How could anything go wrong?

In the Communications Room, a verbal fight was taking place, thanks to the rude person replying to Phillip's festive email.

"Bastard," began Phillips, replying to the rude man's email. He angrily sent a reply, which said -_Piss off_! _Go back to the anti-Christmas shite hole you came out from_!

"What're you sending back?" asked Bride, a nervous smile settling on his face.

Phillips grinned. "I said,'Piss off! Go back to the anti-Christmas shite hole you came out from!' Serveshim right!"

Bride was stunned. "If you've started a fight...you _do_ remember what happened last time?"

"Ah…yes...it was funny, I must admit," said Phillips, a look of reminiscence on his face.

Two weeks ago, Phillips and Bride had been arguing with their Californian counterparts. It had gotten to the stage when Bride had used the phone on the bridge to call Frederick Fleet, who was on duty in the crow's nest. He had warned them to look out for the Californian and that the Titanic was to avoid coming near them at all costs. Of course, Fleet and his lookout companion, Reginald Lee, had seen the Californian the next night and rung the alarm bell. It was Murdoch who had answered the phone. Fleet had explained everything to him, only for Murdoch to tell Fleet to shut up and not listen to stupid orders that didn't come from the officers or the captain. Bride and Phillips had been in big trouble, but had gotten off lightly because Murdoch had found the whole situation quite amusing once he had found out the whole story. Murdoch had also apologized to Fleet for being a bit short with him.

"We're getting another message from them." Bride interrupted Phillips' reminiscence.

Phillipsread the message and said, "Arsehole."

"Ah…fuck it. Send him something he wouldn't like. Like ... a virus!" Bride instructed Phillips.

"Don't have one," Phillips said, looking slightly crestfallen. "Our anti-virus software won't allow us to create one."

"Huh? You tried?" Bride looked both stunned and amazed.

"Yep!" replied Phillips as he replied to the rude man's email, "But the anti-virus crap that we have wouldn't let me."

"Oh well ..."

Back in the Officer's Mess Hall, things were going to get very different.

"The baby kicked!" cried Rose. She held her hands to her mouth when she realized that she had shouted that out, and that Murdoch and Lightoller were still in the hall.

Jack was in shock, and couldn't believe that his child had started kicking. He also couldn't believe that they had been caught when Murdoch and Lightoller made their way towards the table they were hiding under. It was Lightoller who grabbed the tablecloth and yanked it away from the table.

"Well, well, well..." he began, taking hold of Rose's hand and helping her out while Jack sat there, muttering very strong expletives under his breath. He stared at Jack, with Jack staring back.

Taking his eyes away from Jack, Lightoller asked Rose, "How much did you hear?"

Astounded, Rose answered, "All of it."

Murdoch muttered something that sounded a lot like _fuck it _under his breath.

"Will, did you say something?"

"No," replied Murdoch, a bit too quickly for Lightoller's liking.

Lightoller looked at him before telling Jack to get out from under the table and that he and Rose weren't in trouble. "They can help us," he whispered to Murdoch. So, Jack reluctantly climbed out from under the table.

"Good," began Murdoch. "Would you like to help us with our plan?"

Murdoch's offer was taken up instantly.

"Yes!" cried Rose with delight, though it might have partly been due to the fact that her unborn child kicked again.

And together, all four of them began to get the plan in motion. Four people were better than two, right?

Things weren't looking any better for the two Communications Operators.

"They really are stupid..." muttered Bride.

"Tell me about it. I think I'll send ... 'Be nice or I will send our Officers to go over there and talk some sense into you!"

"Okay, but make it sound more nasty. Don't go all formal on him," Bride warned.

"Go all formal on _him_?" Phillips looked insulted. "Not bloody likely!"

Phillips beganing typing furiously as Murdoch walked into the room. Phillips stopped mid-sentence, and he and Bride stared at Murdoch, their guilty expressions showing on their flustered faces.

Murdoch couldn't be fooled easily. At least, that's what he thought.

"At it again, men?" he asked, a smile appearing on his handsome face. "What is it this time?"

Phillips began to finish typing in the message as Bride answered swiftly.

"It was his fault, sir. Honest!"

Murdoch let out a long sigh. "The Californian again?"

"Not this time. We sent this guy a Christmas message and he threw it back in our faces! We're trying to get revenge but it's not happening for us!" Bride insisted.

Murdoch turned to Phillips. "Let me send one."

Phillips nodded. "Wait until they reply."

"Of course." Murdoch was now smiling broadly. He wasn't about to let the rude guy ruin Christmas, was he?

"Here it is..." Phillips wrote down the message. "It is...'Fuck off. You are a little prick.'. Lame..." he commented.

"My turn!" Murdoch said excitedly. He began to hammer a message to the Californian like there was no tomorrow.

At Murdoch's power and enthusiasm, Phillips turned to Bride and said, "Blimey!"

However, at the bridge, there was an air of expectation.

"This is gonna be sweet," Jack muttered to Rose.

They were standing next to Thomas Andrews, the ship's master shipbuilder, and Lightoller, who kept his hand in his pocket where the mistletoe was hidden. Rose nodded in reply. They hadn't exactly followed the plan, but they knew their version would be better.

"Everything ready?" Lightoller asked.

"Er...yeah," Jack said, with a hint of uncertainty in his voice. He was unsure about the plan, but he and Rose were going to go through with it anyway. He smiled to himself as Moody and Lowe walked onto the bridge, as he gently fondles the mistletoe that he had hidden in his pocket, unaware of what was going on the Communications Room ...

"I said, 'This is William McMaster Murdoch, and I am the First Officer of the Titanic. I _demand_ that you arse holes stop ruining Christmas for yourselves. You are all ugly wankers and myself and our operators don't want another word from you!' What do you think?"

Bride and Phillips laughed at this. Just at that moment, Lightoller burst in.

"I've got a camera!" He threw it to Murdoch. "Come on!"

Lightoller ran out of the room.

"Guys, come with me. This is something you have got to see. Don't worry, leave the emails for now, you have my permission. And let me know what the guy sends back, okay?" Murdoch smirked and left the room, with two puzzled operators following in his wake.

Murdoch, Phillips and Bride walked onto the bridge. Lightoller was talking to Moody and Lowe, and stopped when he saw Murdoch.

"Mr. Murdoch," Jack began. "Can I see the camera for a minute? I'm excellent at photography."

Murdoch handed it to him, somewhat reluctantly. He walked over to Lightoller and began to talk with him.

At that moment, Rose reached into Jack's jacket pocket and pulled out the mistletoe. Jack turned the camera towards Murdoch and Lightoller as Rose held the mistletoe above their heads! Moody and Lowe had been informed by Rose of the plan and they grabbed hold of Murdoch and Lightoller.

"Kiss! Kiss!" The chant echoed throughout the bridge.

Chief Officer Henry Wilde, accompanied by Captain Edward J. Smith and Bruce Ismay, walked onto the bridge amidst the commotion. They watched in amazement as, slowly but surely, Murdoch leant closer to Lightoller, while Lightoller did the same. Closer and closer, until...

The cheers and catcalls coming from the bridge were incredible. And the volume they were at! It was like being at an FA Cup Final, with the final whistle being blown and the winner's fans beginning to celebrate like it was on sale for £999.99. Murdoch and Lightoller kissed! It was unbelievable.

What had happened prior to the kiss was that Jack and Rose had warned Moody and Lowe about the plan. It was, in fact, Lowe's plan to reverse the prank on Murdoch and Lightoller. Smith, Wilde, Ismay, and Andrews had also been informed of the plan. It would be remembered forever by the witnesses.

Bride ran around the ship after the kissyelling "Guess what happened? Guess what happened?"

By dinnertime, the whole of the ship knew about it. The party was fantastic thanks to the kiss. It was a Christmas never to be forgotten.

In case you were wondering Cal and Lovejoy found Rose and Jack at the party. Too bad Mr. Andrews was with them. Therude guy did reply.No prizes for what Phillips sent back to him, and everyone else for that matter.

**- The End -**


End file.
